And I do agree.
However, I'm not there yet.
Over the last two months I have really taken it easy on myself physically. I haven't carved out time for the gym and most days don't have the energy to do so anyway. Instead I decided to dip into yoga, taking on a 30 day yoga challenge at DoYouYoga.com.
Yoga is something I'd previously tried but sorely lacked patience for. Finally I felt ready.
Yoga coupled with a lot of reading on patience, self discovery, recovery, intuitive eating and meditation have been a sort of saving grace for me during this rough time in my life. I feel as though I am finally learning to take care of myself from the inside out.
And maybe I've 'let myself go' a bit at the waistline. I'm pretty ok with that. I like who I am on the inside. I don't run from her. I don't try to stuff her back into her cage. I am full of release and emotions and love.
These are emotions I locked out long ago. It's refreshing to experience feelings again.
Learning to accept myself inside out/outside in has been quite a journey and I know it's one that never ends. I'm ok with that.
Getting back into fitness on a healthy level will come back to me because I want it to. Not because I need to fit a mold or societal expectation. Not because I hate my body. Not to please anybody else. But because it's something I genuinely enjoy.
Right now though I'm on a slow ride - I call it the scenic route. It's comforting and less stressful when you take life one day at a time, when you experience each moment, when you stop sweating the small stuff.